April 10th 08 - The Realationship series on Let's Talk started with the topic "fighting fair" with Pastor Jerome Harrigan being the guest for the Hour.
In a relationship the way we deal with conflict can often times be detrimental to the health of the relationship; but learning to argue healthily and sensibly can make such a major difference of the positive kind.
Pastor Harrigan was right on target as he explained many points as to why conflicts arise, picking the right words in an arguement, listening to the other party, avoiding violence, and being able to reach an amicable agreement.
If you sometimes feel that any criticism or disagreement is an attack on you, hit "below the belt" and regret it later, feel "out of control" when conflict arises, withdraw and become silent when you're angry, or store up complaints from the distant past then you are not alone.
At one time or another, most of us have done one or more of these things. That's because in most relationships, conflict inevitably arises, and for many of us it creates significant discomfort.
But conflict, if handled appropriately, can actually strengthen relationships and improve our understanding of each other. When handled badly, conflict can result in broken friendships, ended relationships, and long-simmering feuds.
Sometimes, despite our best fair-fighting efforts, a disagreement or conflict seems insurmountable. When this occurs, talking with a trained professional can help. A trained mediator can help you communicate more effectively and eventually work your way through to a solution. Pastor Harrigan mentioned seeking out a trusted neutral person to help bring some level of peace and understanding to the conflict.
The pastor stressed the importance of listening and not making accusatory statements and to be always mindful that the arguement is temporary in nature, and that your life with your partner will continue afterwards.
Conflict is a normal, inevitable, and even healthy aspect of relationships. When managed well, it can be used to enhance and strengthen relationships with friends, family members, co-workers, and romantic partners.
Fair fighting provides the tools and techniques to help you achieve positive results when problems arise.
Pastor Harrigan can be contacted on the following:
Phone: (264) 497 0977
Phone (264) 582 2254.
E-mail: nbrgracefm@caribcable.com